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Fear Holds Us Back
How many of you have had this same experience that I've had? I've worried so much about something bad happening that I was consumed by that fear and put a lot of energy into worrying. Then, exactly what I had feared is exactly what happened. For example, I've been rushing to an important client site visit and worried that I'd miss my plane connection. Sure enough, my connection was tight, my first flight was late, I was very concerned and rushed through the connecting airport only to find that indeed I missed my flight. I had been very focused on NOT missing the flight but my focus was entirely on what I had feared.
Now look at another circumstance. I was afraid of something going wrong, but I just said, "so what, no pain no gain - let's just do it and see what happens". Then, after putting my fear in its place I carried on regardless and nothing went wrong. In fact, things often turn out just as hoped, or even better. When I started my company I was in fear - I was giving up a senior position in a large firm where I had plenty of security for a completely unknown future as an independent consultant with no clients signed up, no severance from my last job and very little experience in marketing. I certainly acknowledge that fear, but decided to carry on regardless. Some of my closest acquaintances thought I was nuts. Sometimes I thought that myself! But, I had chosen a new experience and was determined to make it work out. That business started off well for a year, had a major setback followed by a quiet year and then it picked up again. Now it's recognized in the field of Physical Asset Management and growing.
Fear holds us all back and limits us in ways we can't even imagine. Worse still, if we focus on our fears, we put so much energy into them that we create exactly that which we are fearing. If we can acknowledge it then put it aside we don't give it power and things just seem to work out. When I started my own business I didn't focus on the fear and what could go wrong - I put my energy into making it work. My focus was on the experience of running my own business and make it succeed.
When we had a major setback I went into fear again. This time I focused on it and went into a very reductive way of thinking and behaving. I acted as if there would be no more business. And that's what happened - for awhile. Eventually I realized that I was focusing on my fears, acknowledge that that was what I was choosing at the moment, had been choosing and then I choose differently. I chose success. Following that I've continued to choose success, to do what it takes to promote the business and make it work, to continue regardless of the little fears that crop up (like is there enough money to pay for this upcoming mail out campaign, etc.) and the work has begun to appear.
Early in my career, when I was a machinery engineer at Esso Chemicals in Sarnia, Ontario I was faced with a situation where I followed the rules and was chastised for it. I was responsible for part of a major turnaround and we needed a particular part that had to be flown in from Texas. The cost of the part plus shipping far exceeded my spending authority so I walked the purchase requisition through the approvals process (this was in the days before extensive computerized work flow). Several hours later I arrived at the plant manager's door and asked for his signature. He asked me how long it took to get to that point and I told him. He then asked if the part was essential to getting the shutdown completed on time - it was. He then very politely chastised me for not simply calling the order in to our supplier and telling the purchasing department what I had done. The process that I followed had taken long enough to put the timely completion of our shutdown in jeopardy. I had been afraid to break the rules. Well, that lesson taught me that rules are merely guidelines - suggestions to be followed when circumstances are normal. It taught me to put the fear aside and do what's right in the moment.
We've all heard of the power of positive thinking. Many have learned that millionaires generally don't focus on what they don't have, they focus on getting it. They don't focus on the reasons why something can't be done - they focus on simply making it happen. The managing partner of my old consulting firm, PwC Consulting in Canada, once said, "win the war first, fight the battles later". My old boss and mentor, John Campbell (d 2002) used to remind me that whenever I really wanted to make something happen it is always easier to ask forgiveness than to seek permission. Another famous saying is that "to ask permission is to seek denial". All of these examples show the extent of recognition that putting fear in its place works.
Examine your current situation. Ask yourself, what is it that you are NOT doing that you'd really like to do? Then dig into WHY. Why is it that you are holding back? Why aren't you doing it? What are you afraid of? Recognize that your fear, no matter how great or small, is holding you back.
Right about now, some of you might be thinking that I'm nuts. After all, you have to follow rules or you'll be fired. You must follow rules or suffer some other penalty, either individually, as a group or as a company. Sure you must - but appreciate just how much those rules are holding you back. Appreciate how they put limits on what you can accomplish.
Your company has its goals. You are a part of making them happen, no matter what your role may be. Your choices can hold you and your company back. Sometimes the company, collectively, is holding back by creating rules. Sometimes they are for good reasons and sometimes the reasons are no longer valid. Look at each situation in the moment and ask if the rules are really that important or can you regard them as mere suggestions? I encourage you not to hold yourself back. Choose in the moment.
Ask yourself, "right now, what am I choosing?" Are you choosing reduction, holding back, limits, lack of results, etc? If so, acknowledge that you are doing that and then choose differently. Choose to expand, to grow, to accomplish.
You'll find that your life expands and is more fulfilling. Your job will be more fulfilling because you are making the choices rather than giving your power to someone else who may or may not want you to follow rules. Choose regardless of the fear.
One caution. Our words are powerful. If you choose "in spite of fear" you'll be choosing the fear. Don't say, "I'll show them, just watch as I choose this". That's just another way of giving power to your fear because you remain focused on it. Choosing regardless of fear is a way of putting the fear aside and taking your power back from it.
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